


Valley of Tomorrow

by glazedsun



Series: Stigmatized [4]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-08 23:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3226916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glazedsun/pseuds/glazedsun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duncan and Brent's separation on the ice brings a strain to their relationship. It's up to Brent to figure out how to make sense of what's going on in his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valley of Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> writing for a prompt asking for brent to convince duncan that what happens on the ice when coach q separates them the first time doesn't take away from how much he loves duncan.
> 
> title is from the song by needtobreathe.

_I am a troubled mind, I am a calloused heart, a failing engine from driving way too hard, trying way too hard. I pulled a .38 out of my bleeding heart; I killed my selfishness for bringing me this far, this far away from you._

There are few things that Duncan like less than being separated from Brent. Dealing with dentists. That time Stanley was sick, and he had to help Brent take care of his dog, since apparently it was his fault for distracting Brent before they could put their food out of reach. When it really come down to it, though, that separation affected him most. Oh, sure. None of them would argue when Coach Q decided to try mixing up all the lines, and he would do anything necessary to help out the team. That didn't mean he liked it, though. There were times he felt lost without Brent out on the ice with him, or even worse, not next to him on the bench. He sighed and leaned his head back in the shower, letting the too-hot water run down his back. It had not been the start to the season he had hoped for. Not only was the team struggling, but he was having his own struggles. He groaned softly as he thought back to all the mistakes he'd made, all the questions from the media he'd had to answer. Duncan reached up to turn the water even hotter, letting out a low hiss but not moving out of the water.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he never noticed another person step into the showers. It wasn't until the water was suddenly turned off that Duncan was startled out of his thoughts. He didn't even need to open his eyes to know who it was, just felt strong arms wrap around him. He relaxed back against the other man. "Come on, Duncs, you're gonna give yourself second degree burn," Brent murmured into his ear, nipping at the ear lobe.

"So?" Duncan asked, still not opening his eyes. He heard Brent sigh, but not say anything else. Duncan did let Brent dry him off, the younger man's touch so gentle that Duncan couldn't help but let out a soft sigh. He finally opened his eyes, looking up into the eyes of his normal defensive partner and his lover. Brent gave him a little smile, which Duncan tried to return. It felt fake, but he didn't want Brent to know just how much all of this was affecting him.

"Let's go," Brent broke the silence, taking Duncan's hand and leading him into the locker room. Though he dropped Duncan's hand as they got closer to their teammates, their arms were pressed together. Most of the guys knew about their relationship, or at least had an idea of it, but it was still something that neither Brent nor Duncan really wanted to flaunt too much. Duncan immediately went to his locker, sitting down in front of it with a heavy sigh. Any trace of smile, fake or otherwise, was gone from his face. Sharp walked over, patting Duncan on the shoulder before walking over to talk softly to his former road roommate. Duncan watched Brent and Sharp out of the corner of his eye while he began the slow process of changing back into his suit. He wasn't sure what it was about, but he shrugged it off. All he wanted to do was go back to his house and sleep.

Once again, he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice Brent walk back over to him. "Wanna come over?" Brent asked as he began his own process of getting changed.

Duncan swallowed a little. It was hard for him to resist that hopeful sound in Brent's voice, but he really did just want to get home and be alone that night. "I'm pretty tired, I think I'm just gonna go home and crash." He murmured, turning away to gather his things together so he didn't have to see the hurt look on his lover's face.

"You sure?" Brent asked, voice softer than before. "We can just go right to sleep."

"Maybe tomorrow," Duncan murmured, giving Brent a sad look before picking up his bag and making his way out to his car. He didn't want to look back; he couldn't bring himself to look back. If he did, he'd see the hurt expression that Brent was trying to hide, the way that Sharp and Troy would probably step in almost immediately to talk to Brent. If he looked back, he'd go back, and that night, he just needed his time alone. He wasn't even entirely sure why, but he did.

Duncan was grateful for the relatively quick drive home, and even more grateful that Kelly had decided to fly back to Canada for a few weeks to spend time with her family. The house was dark, and quiet, as he stepped inside. He couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh at that fact, throwing the keys down on the counter. A short, bitter, laugh soon followed the sigh as he realized just how melancholy he was being. Get over it, Keith, he thought to himself, shaking his head and making his way up to the bedroom. There was no reason for him to turn on any lights; he found his way blindly through the halls until he fell back upon his large, too empty, bed. He thought back to Brent's invitation, to the fact that he could be in his lover's arms at that moment, but shook his head. No, he just needed to sleep. He stood up, shedding his clothes and tossing them unceremoniously near the hamper. Once in just his boxers, Duncan climbed back into bed, hoping that sleep would come quickly.

****

If Duncan had turned back, he would have see that it wasn't just Troy and Patrick who swept in. Many of the guys had already left, but a few still lingered. Two of those people were Niklas and Brian, and they sat down on either side of Brent as Troy and Patrick stood in front of him. Brent looked around at the four of them and let out a soft sigh, no longer able to hide all of the hurt from his face. "I hate this," he whispered, running a hand through his wet hair. "I can already feel the distance starting, and it's only the first game we've been separated."

Niklas leaned in against Brent, offering his new defensive partner support. As Brent leaned in against Nik, Troy spoke up, "You guys have been through this before, you made it through that."

Brent opened his mouth to protest, but closed it as soon as he saw the knowing looks from the two men standing in front of him. He closed his eyes, thinking back to last March. After he returned from his concussion, he'd gone through a slump of his own. The whole team was struggling, but he was especially hard on himself. Because of Soupy's injury, he and Duncan had been split up. "Yeah, and look how long it took us to get through that," he murmured, picking at an invisible scab on his knee.

"That's because you're both a couple of stubborn bastards who refuse to ever _talk_ about anything," Patrick pointed out, his tone accusing but affectionate. Brent looked over at Sharp, glaring at him, though the look held no actual malice. It was no surprise that back then, it was once again Sharp who managed to convince Duncan and Brent to actually talk before their relationship was destroyed.

"Just be there for him," Brian offered, patting Brent's knee. "We'll get through this. And he'll get through whatever he's going through, maybe he thinks he needs to deal with it on his own. Maybe he does need to get through it on his own, but it will help if he knows that you've got his back."

Brent looked over at Brian, giving him a small smile and shrugging. "I'll figure something out." He stiffened when Jonathan walked back into the room, finished with addressing the media. Jon glanced over at the group that still lingered, before turning back to gather his things. While he had gotten close again with Jon after everything that had happened his rookie year, there were certain things that he didn't feel comfortable with his captain knowing. Him being this upset over being separated from his lover was one of them. The two defensemen that had been flanking Brent stood up, each offering him another comforting pat before getting ready to leave themselves. Patrick did the same; only Troy lingered.

"Do you want me to spend the night?" he offered as Brent finished changing. Brent looked up in some surprise. He'd always been close with Troy, but hadn't expected an offer like that to come from him. Troy was one of the first people that Brent always went to if he was upset and had a rare moment of actually needing to talk, but it had always been Colin (before he was traded), Nemo (again, before he signed elsewhere), or Niklas that he managed to convince to stay over.

"Nah, it's okay," Brent murmured after a moment, "you probably want to get home to Carmen and Ari. I've got Stanley and Knox, I won't be entirely alone," _unlike Duncan_ , his mind added, but he didn't dare speak that aloud. The thought of Duncan all alone in his dark house made Brent sad all over again.

Troy gave Brent a look. He knew how much Brent hated to be alone, even at those times he refused to ever admit it. "Well, if you don't want me to stay over, at least let me come over for a few hours. We can eat, have a couple beers, play video games or something."

Brent sighed as he slid his feet into his dress shoes. "Fine." He grabbed his car keys and phone, heading out to where he had parked his car. "You're not going to call your wife?" Brent asked, looking back at Troy with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll text her when we get into the car," Troy shrugged in response. "Unless you want her to bring Ari over," he teased.

"Oh, just what I want to watch," Brent snorted, shaking his head and making a pained face, "You being all lovey-dovey with Carmen while Stanley tries desperately to flirt with Ari. While my boyfriend is barely giving me the time of day." After he said that word, boyfriend, Brent blinked. It had just rolled off his tongue easily. Too easily. While things with Duncan had been pretty serious for awhile, it had never been about titles, especially with Kelly in the picture. Actually calling Duncan his boyfriend in front of a teammate was a first, and Brent felt a strange relief.

It didn't phase Troy one bit, of course. He just wrapped am arm around Brent's shoulder, squeezing him briefly against his side to offer comfort. "It'll be okay, Biscuit. You'll see. I think if you two ever actually ended things, the world might implode." Brent couldn't help but laugh softly at that, shaking his head with a trace of a smile on his face. Troy was right. It sucked, it really sucked, but he and Dunc would get through it. They had so many things to work out between them, but somehow, they would. Baby steps.

Once he and Troy were both settled in Brent's car, Brent backed out of the spot and started the drive home. The faint smile remained on his face as Troy went about changing the songs from the ones Brent always insisted on during their pre-game ride to the UC. He was suddenly glad for the distraction of having Troy over, if only to keep him from sinking into the sadness like Duncan probably had. Brent would figure out a way to get through to Duncs. Somehow.

****

After the next game, another loss, Brent knew that if he was going to try and fix anything, it needed to be as soon as possible. He'd overheard some of the things that Duncan had said to the media, how they were all getting better, how things were finally starting to click. But he could read his lover's body language. He could tell that he blamed the loss on himself. If Duncan hadn't said much to him before the game, he would barely even look at Brent now. An uneasy feeling began to settle in his stomach, and for a moment Brent was unsure whether to run off with his tail between his legs or force the issue… even if it meant pushing his lover further away.

Since that night in the locker room, they hadn't spent any time together, alone. It wasn't for a lack of trying on his part, if his phone bill was any indication. Brent had made offers to Duncan, but Dunc just wasn't ready. Brent himself was already starting to give up, and that was scary to him. He went for the less overwhelming of the two options when they got back to the hotel, just choosing to sit on his hotel bed, and think. There were very few times in his life that he was actually at a loss when it came to his lover. The issue of Duncan's engagement still loomed over the two of them like a storm cloud, just waiting to unload. That, that was something that Brent didn't even want to think about at the moment. Where their relationship stood then, that was the pressing issue. He was lost, though.

That is, until one David Bolland stormed into the room he shared with Brent, dragging a much larger Duncan Keith with him. Brent looked up, raising an eyebrow in question as he stared at the forward.

"Look, I don't know what problems in paradise you two are having," Dave said, pushing Duncan forward. He stood in front of the door, arms crossed in frustration, eyes challenging Duncan to try and get past him. "But we don't like it. It's starting to fuck with the team, and no one fucks with the team."

"What's your point?" Brent asked, eyes narrowed. Their relationship struggling was one thing, but being accused of fucking with the team? That was the last thing that Brent would ever do.

"You need to fix this," Dave replied, his voice exasperated as he motioned from Brent to Duncan. "I don't know how. I don't care how. Talk about it, fuck it out, just fucking…" Dave took a deep breath, calming himself. "face it. Stop avoiding it, before it starts affecting us even further on the ice."

"Did Sharpie put you up to this?" Duncan finally spoke up, his face still unreadable.

Dave rolled his eyes, "He's not the only one who noticed it. It's not important who was plotting this. Just… please." He suddenly looked more deflated than angry, and Brent was hit by the realization of just how much their friends were worried about them. Was it for their relationship, or just the team? It didn't really matter. It still meant a lot. "Look. I'm going to just leave you two alone, to do whatever. Don't think about leaving until you are at least talking again," Dave looked pointedly at Duncan at the last part, who looked down guiltily at the floor. He started to turn around to leave, but before he was fully out the door, he turned around to look at the two men again. "If this doesn't work, I'm going to have to send in reinforcements. And believe me, you don't want to know what I have in mind." Brent and Duncan quickly looked at each other, but by the time they turned back to the door, David was gone.

Silence hung heavily in the room as Brent and Duncan remained still, just looking at each other. Neither wanted to make the first move, but one of them needed to. Moments passed, mere seconds that felt like a lifetime. Finally, Brent couldn't take it anymore. He stood up, walking over to where Duncan stood. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to his smaller partner's lips, not giving up even when Duncan didn't respond to the kiss. It was only a matter of moments, though, before Duncan was relenting. The kiss was desperate, and so emotional that Brent felt his heart rise to his throat, choking him up with emotion that he hadn't even known he'd felt. He broke apart, forehead resting on Duncan's as his chest heaved for breath. "I've missed you so much," he admitted, hating the way that his voice showed just how emotional he was.

Duncan pulled back further, a slight frown on his face. "It's only been a few days. You've looked good out there with Nikki."

Brent gave Duncan a look of disbelief before pulling away completely, walking over to sit on his bed. "I'm not just talking about on the ice. Of course I miss you out there, too, but I mean… I miss _us_ ," he said, his voice softening as he continued to speak. He gestured for Duncan to come sit down next to him, and found himself actually surprised when Duncan complied. Brent took a deep breath. It was now or never, and Sharpy, Troy, and Dave were all right. They needed to actually talk about this, bottling it up would only make it worse. "You've been so distant for awhile now. Is it because I told Keith about us? I know you don't want anyone outside of the locker room knowing, but I just… he's my brother. And I…"

Before Brent could continue his rambling, Duncan lifted his hand, pressing a finger against his lover's lips. "No, it's not about that," his naturally soft voice even softer than usual. "It's not even about you at all."

"Then what is it?" Brent asked after pressing a light kiss to Duncan's finger, eyebrow raised slightly.

"Honestly?" Brent nodded, encouraging Duncan to continue. "I know I've been off my game, and it's kind of had this… spiraling effect." Brent watched Duncan, watched what effort it took for the older man to admit to this. "I didn't start out great, so then I started worrying about disappointing the team, the fans, you, and then that started making my play worse, and things just kind of… hit the bottom when we wound up getting split up. I'm trying to get a grasp of things and turn them around, but it's been a slower process than I hoped. I just, I hate that I am letting the team down."

Brent remained silent after Duncan finished, digesting the words. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little surprised by it. Duncan had always had a close relationship with their mental health coach, and Brent had assumed they were working together on it, enough that Duncan wasn't taking it quite this personally. That was usually his job, internalizing every mistake, not Duncan's. "Duncan," he finally said softly, moving closer to the other man. He reached up, cupping the man's cheek in his hand, watching as Duncan hesitated before leaning into the touch. A small smile came over his face when Duncan practically nuzzled into the familiar touch that they both had missed so much. "Everything that has happened, it's not all your fault. We've all made mistakes, as a team we've just not been playing as well as we should. You can't take all of this on your shoulders." He caught Duncan about to speak up, and silenced him by brushing his thumb over those lips he loved so much. "Not just you. _All_ of us have let down our goalies in one way or another, and we will get it back together. All you can do is your best, Dunc, and work with Boynton out there. No matter what, though, I love you." Brent paused, watching the expression on Duncan's face change slightly. He was still getting used to saying the l word, and he could tell Duncan was still getting used to hearing it. "Even if you have ten turnovers in a game, even if you score in our own damn goal. I love you, no matter what. You're not going to lose me because of a couple bad games."

"So what you're saying," Duncan murmured, reaching a hand up to comb through Brent's hair, "is that I'm stuck with you."

"Stuck with me like hot fudge on a sundae," Brent smiled, leaning in to kiss Duncan lightly.

A genuine smile, and short laugh, came to Duncan's face at that. "You do make me melt, you cheese ball."

"Mission accomplished," Brent beamed, pulling Duncan closer to him. "Now come here, and let me really show you how much I can make you melt." He kissed Duncan deeply, fingers tracing over the skin of his face before disappearing into the curls as Duncan laid back, pulling Brent down on top of him.

Things might not be perfect, but they were moving in the right direction. That was all Brent could hope for, as they waited to see what tomorrow would bring. As for the fact that things began working out better on the ice after their talk, even managing to pull out a win before heading on the circus trip? Well, Brent would never give his teammates the satisfaction of agreeing that was part of the reason.


End file.
